Third Culture Kid Dating; adults who have spent their developmental years outside their parent's culture

What do you feel is the biggest obstacle to you finding love?

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I think we never really want to ask ourselves the difficult questions because it means having to potentially find difficult answers.  What would you say is the biggest obstacle today for you to find love?

Is it your job? Do you spend so many hours in the office each day and week that you feel as if you don’t have the energy in the evening to go out with friends and potentially meet someone? Or that you are so tired by the end of the day that you have often cancelled dates, thinking there was a slim chance anyway that you’d fancy them. Instead, you choose to relax in front of an awesome series and a cold beer!

Is it that your spare time is mostly on the weekends and that’s when you want to spend time with your friends? Maybe you work all week with colleagues who you like but wouldn’t necessarily consider to be close friends. You meet with clients all week. That you would simply like to spend some quality time with friends when you finally have some time to yourself. And a date involves spending time with someone you don’t know. Someone you have to make small talk with. It might be awkward. And it could be a waste of time. You think, why waste your free two days a week doing that?

Is it something else? Are you still thinking about your last relationship?  Feeling as if it’s not quite done yet. You haven’t been able to fully move on. You don’t have the closure you need to really feel like you can open up to someone new again. You think that there may still be something there.  It’s stopping you from taking that new step forward.

Do you feel there’s something else stopping you? Is it that you’re feeling insecure about going on that date you got asked on? You’re scared they won’t find you fun? You’re nervous they won’t think you are as cute as they remembered? Or that they’ll think you don’t look like the picture if you met them online.

Do you simply feel that the biggest obstacle is that although you go on plenty of dates, you just never to seem to find that spark? That it’s always a nice enough person, but that you don’t, as a friend of mine would say, want to jump across the table to rip off their shirt! There’s not enough attraction there. You enjoy their company, but you just don’t feel enough chemistry! There’s not enough there for you to feel it’s worth being in a relationship for.  I, personally, find it’s ridiculously hard to find people who can make you laugh, make you smile, and make you want to jump up and down because you’ve finally found them. I think it’s rare to find. Hence why it’s so special when you do find someone who can make you do all of those things.

What would you say is your biggest obstacle? Lack of time? Lack of good options out there? Something else?


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